This isnt going to be all spooky shit, i promise but i have to start with the possessed potato….

Two days ago , my cool as shizzle 13 year old daughter asked me if i knew what the funny potato video was, now me, 37, 5 kids, man with autism kids with autism. I am not down with the times right now, but i said “yassss, of course i have seen it, show me again” .

She showed me, funny as fuck . She then proceeded to video herself throwing a potato through our bifolds whilst saying ” a potato flew around the room”. Well, i laughed as only i could, being all down with the teenagers.

I have toyed with having a blog for a while, some say im funny on fb (who fucking isn’t, my fb is full of “funny” people!) toyed about sharing my life, lots of people have told me over the years to write a book, er no, too much hassle, too scary? probably both!

Anyway, back to potatogate. Teenager goes off to bed, i sit down for a glass of wine and catching up with real knobheads of every country, or should that be county… i need a top up, off i head to the fridge.  We have an all singing , all dancing fridge, gives you ice , water everything. It never dances to my tune though, whenever i want ice it goes “fuck you bitch!” and just clogs up.

I return to my seat to find a potato on the settee, exactly where i was sat. Now i know i have a massive floppy arse (thanks child number 2) but i am pretty sure i would have known if i was sat on a potato.