That song reminds me of my memories as a child (no i wasn’t in a war zone i was a model for a VE victory day, sang and all that shizzle)

This morning felt like a warzone in my head, trying to either switch off my thoughts or talk to my aspie partner about the fact he hadn’t recognised my achievements breastfeeding wise……. or anything else for that matter.

I broke free and listened to myself, inside my head (i am not bipolar, but have a typical shirley valentine “talk to the wall” kind of life (thanks nan for that film, i utilise its analogies so much.)

Living with an adult male who was diagnosed later in life (because of me, I am sure his parents are still convinced i am the devil) is really tough. shit. horrible.. he makes up for it with his practicality which i am greatful for, but sometimes i just long for a cuddle without prompting, or to be acknowledged for who i am.

Tonight i saw the first proper cuddle between the two ASD people in our house. Its not enough, but i saw it happen. so it can happen. It wasn’t beautiful, it was just a realisation. She is 9 years old , nearly 10. Has the issues the same as he has, but that man wont recognise me and all i have done, that is a toughy to live with most of the time.

 

Living with autism is awesome, tomorrow it may well be meh

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