I am actually so fucking pissed off today , this blog is about me and all the ass holes that live in my town, that know fuck all, that treat me like shit (because I let them!)
When I am pregnant, I am happy, that is me at my best. Some people do not deserve to even spawn… When i am breastfeeding that’s a whole other story! Today, my homebirth love was tested.
Dont ever test that. If I am coming to you with love, however it comes and you say bad things to me, I will not forgive you (again) .I spend my life forgiving and forgetting for the people I love, the people around me.
To the person that “dissed me fam” as my daughter would say. Go fuck yourself, I say.
Let me tell you this fuckwits of my town, the only reason my man still lives here, and i can not get him out is because he has aspergers. He has a reason, a genuine reason to still be in this poxy town full of people that think their life revolves around everyone elses issues!! I personally have never gone in for “gossip”, that is probably why i do not fit in here… and probably why on some levels me and my aspie partner have been together so long, as he is just the same.
I am not like the usual suspects. I speak my mind, tell the truth. The last two days have shown me that people are just c==ts……
I would love to say i will never be nice again to someone that has hurt me, but I cant do that. I am nice, lovely, caring, compassionate, and lots of things that I dont get told alot by the auties in my house, so i have to remind myself.
Trouble is some believe that hiding from their “truth” is easier than facing their foibles.. I accept all of mine, own them and have tried to deal with every single one. I have been through every abuse going, had major therapy , that I had to deal with c==ts taking the piss out off, or bringing up in every random argument my “tv debut”, showing my “failing” I know i havent failed, thats why i try. i really wish i didnt some days as today for me, im broken a little bit more, and i am not sure how much more there is to break.
One thing i will say as a positive of living and learning through autism in my family, has made me thicker skinned than i used to be, things may temporarily break me, i may come across at times as uber sensitive, but i am a survivor in many senses of the word.
Today, well its been shit.